By George Kimando
A recent study seeking an empirical explanation of increasing new HIV/Aids infections in marriages and stable couples revealed a rather interesting trend in relationships. This is a growing number of married people in active affairs, especially between married people who are married to other people.
Without quoting the report liberally because it’s not yet public, what comes out is a laissez-fare attitude towards marriage by both the married and unmarried, where cheating no longer raises eyebrows and is somewhat normalized.
Am not sure if it’s the few ‘culprits’ making enough noise to make it sound the usual, but truth is, a lot of it is happening.
The report cites high numbers of over the day hotel bookings in urban areas, especially in Nairobi. Am not a designated moral cop, so i won’t go into the details of other tell tale indicator trends.
Made me think: what happened to the sanctity society attached to those solemn vows and the espoused values?
Thinking about it, I realized it’s actually all around us in other areas too.
Look at prisoners in our jails. Most of them are baptized Christians or believers of some form of religious faith. They took some solemn vow to reject satan and all his promises. Barring those who are there for obnoxious reasons (like failing to raise the KShs. 200 bob fine for being ‘out’ during curfew hours), what happened to those vows?
Many of the most corrupt public officers took a certain oath of office, largely to protect the integrity of the office they hold and defend public good and resources. How, for instance, does the President publicly admit to the country losing some two billion bob daily to corruption, and it sounds normal, infact a joke? What happened to those oaths?
Perhaps the most intriguing is the growing list of separated and divorcing believers who took vows before God and Man to commit to a marriage. Where went those avowed convictions? When did ‘death’ arrive? And what sort of ‘death’ was it?
We have seen Priests in open relationships, some with families to show. Ordained and professed religious leaders have been witnessed to indulge in extra marital affairs, even being shamelessly public about it.
One told me another day, ‘hizi vitu zilikuwa hata wakati wa Yesu’. Really?
What happened to religious celibacy and commitment to exclusive service to God? What happened to the fear of God, if for nothing else?
How many sworn in witnesses give deliberate false statements of accounts to twist a judicial matter into the favour of those who favour them? And this after swearing with the Bible or the Quran to say the truth and nothing but the truth?
What of Church ministers aligning their sermons and ministering with certain audiences so as not to offend a certain individual or group of ‘faithfuls’ for personal gain, financial or otherwise?
I could go on.
Has vows and sworn promises lost relevance, individually and collectively? Does it matter anymore?
Let me tell you what really matters.
Ultimately, it comes down to the clarity of your conscience, individual commitment and the value system you ascribe to. It’s your fidelity to God and truth that counts, no matter the number of vows you take or how loudly you trumpet them.
The real test of integrity is the conscientious character devoid of influence of public display and perception.
What do you do with you when you are with yourself? Repeat that a couple of times and let it sink.
In other words, forget the vows, anyone can make them. But who are you when it’s only you, your conscience and God?
Have a conscientious Sunday, and a great week ahead.
gkimando@gmail.com
Uzalendonews24@gmail.com.
