The traditional expectation for young Kenyans to marry by a certain age is rapidly fading, with many adults aged between 25 and 40 choosing to delay marriage or avoid it altogether. This emerging trend has sparked debate among religious leaders, social commentators, and relationship experts across the country.
In many African communities, marriage was once viewed as a rite of passage, especially for men. But today’s young adults are reshaping the narrative, prioritising personal growth, career advancement, and financial independence over conventional timelines.
“I’ve been ghosted, breadcrumbed, soft-launched, you name it,” one young woman shared. “Dating feels exhausting. Before I walk down the aisle, I need to redefine what love means in today’s world.”
Roberta Bobbie, a Nairobi-based relationship coach at Love and Orgasms, says the shift is not a rejection of marriage but a sign of growing self-awareness and caution.
“Young people aren’t avoiding marriage, they’re just more intentional,” Bobbie explains. “They’ve seen rising divorce rates and emotional fallout from unstable relationships. Many are choosing to wait until they’re mentally and financially ready.”
She adds that modern couples are increasingly prioritising peace of mind, stable careers, and emotional compatibility over rushing into unions for the sake of tradition.
“Older generations are beginning to acknowledge this reality,” Bobbie says. “Parents are now encouraging their children to build financial security and self-understanding before settling down.”
At the heart of this cultural shift is a broader understanding that marriage should stem from genuine connection and shared values, not societal pressure or outdated expectations.
“There’s no shame in waiting,” Bobbie affirms. “Take your time, grow as a person, and marry only when you’re truly ready.”
Written By Rodney Mbua
