In many close-knit communities, there’s a long-standing expectation that those who have “made it” should lift others as they rise. Particularly, relatives and friends who’ve attained influential positions, CEOs, directors, senior government officials, are often viewed as the “tall” ones, not for their height, but for their social and professional standing.
Yet, for many job seekers, the silence from these “tall” figures is deafening. Why aren’t they opening doors to dream jobs?
First, influence does not always equal action. A big title doesn’t necessarily mean someone has the power, or willingness, to help. In high-stakes environments, endorsing someone, even a relative, carries risk. If that person underperforms, it reflects poorly on the referrer. For those guarding hard-earned reputations, that’s a gamble not easily taken.
Second, you may not be on their radar. Busy executives and top-tier officials juggle packed schedules, strategic decisions, and constant demands. Unless you’ve clearly communicated your goals, they may not even realize you’re seeking opportunities, much less in need of their support. Hoping they’ll “just know” is rarely effective.
There’s also a mindset some hold: “I struggled, so should you.” Many influential people attribute their success to personal grit and may feel that offering a shortcut weakens that journey for others. It’s a flawed but sincere belief that tough paths build resilience.
Family dynamics further complicate things. Emotional distance, unresolved tensions, or simply infrequent contact can dull a sense of obligation. An uncle who only sees you at weddings might not feel moved to recommend you for a high-stakes position.
Some may have helped before and been burned, endorsing someone who disappointed, tarnished their name, or flouted professionalism. That single bad experience can lead to years of hesitation.
Most importantly, power is often limited. A government director may have no pull in the private sector. A corporate executive might be bound by strict hiring processes. The influence we imagine they wield may not extend to the opportunities we seek.
So, if your well-placed connections haven’t opened doors for you, it might not be from neglect or bad will. It could be timing, caution, or oversight. The best move? Be clear, professional, and intentional. Reach out. Let them know how they can help.
Ultimately, your dream job is your journey. The “tall” people in your life might open a door, but it’s up to you to walk through it and prove you belong.
Written By Rodney Mbua
