At first glance, my emails are polite and warm. I’m “just checking in” on a deadline, offering reassurance with a “no worries either way.” But a closer look reveals a pattern: they’re punctuated by unnecessary apologies, smiley faces, exclamation marks, and even kisses.
I like to think I’m being friendly and approachable. Yet, according to experts, these linguistic habits may quietly undermine how seriously I’m taken at work.
Career coach Hannah Salton and etiquette coach William Hanson explain why so many of us write this way—and the potential impact on how we’re perceived, and even promoted.
Habits to Rethink
The experts suggest reconsidering these common tendencies to project more professionalism:
- Qualifying words like “just” (“just checking,” “just wondering”).
- Pre-emptive apologies such as “sorry to bother you” or “I’m sure you’re really busy, but…”
- Reassurance checkers like “does that make sense?”, “hope that’s ok,” or “no worries either way.”
- Excessive exclamation marks.
- Emojis.
- Overly familiar sign-offs like kisses or excessive warmth.
Striking the Right Balance
Salton and Hanson stress that the goal isn’t to strip all warmth or personality from communication. “Personal style is important,” says Hannah. “Showcasing personality at work is not a bad thing. You don’t want to feel like you have to filter everything and remove any personality from it.” However, you shouldn’t use certain words and symbols primarily “as a tool to be liked.”
Practical Steps for Change
A practical way to refine your style is to pay closer attention to the emails you receive. Notice how different tones make you feel—what sounds clear, confident, or reassuring versus what feels excessive or unclear.
Salton also suggests using AI tools to review draft emails. They can help identify and remove excess filler or qualifier words, allowing your core message—and your professional confidence—to shine through.
By James Kisoo
