BY FAITH MUTETE – So the other day was Christmas, apparently the only time in Kenya and most parts of the world where you get to meet the long lost relatives who travelled five years ago and never pick up calls or reply texts. Or the ones that ‘carried you when you were just a 5 month old little baby’.

Anyways my point is not on meeting my relatives but yes we had a very huge get together that was filled with joy, laughter, food and lots and lots of food, and as my family made merry my sister and I sat a little bit far from the crowd as she took pictures for her Instagram and I took that opportunity to just sit and observe my family wondering what really brought them together?

Was it because they were united by blood, tribe or was it genuine love? In the midst of my many thoughts one of those long lost aunties I was telling you about graced the gathering and came straight to where we were with her big laughter and what seemed to be the beginning of an unending speech of how she had missed me.

“Mutete how are you?” She said as she pulled a seat next to me and we began catching up on lost time. “Sasa mutete unatuletea bwana lini?” And as I was trying to come up with a smart answer to end the conversation, Mutua, one of those people who are in all gatherings and are not really related to anyone passed by to say hi and as soon as he left my aunt picked up from where she had left.

“Unajua ukichagua bwana unafai Kuhakikisha ni mkamba kama wewe, mtu kaa Mutua ni kijana mzuri saana na mmejuana tangu utotoni, usiitikie kuolewa na kabila zingine ndio kukuharibika Utakuwa sawa. Unajua ata mkamba akikutukana utajua lakini hizi kabila zingine utateseka so ebu fikiria kuhusu Mutua,” she said as she walked away leaving me agitated.

Tribalism blinded her and covered the fact that there were more important things to consider in marriage than tribes but for the first time I was left thinking about marriage and who i would actually be married to.

Should I choose a Mutua, my aunt says they are very loyal and trustworthy and it will be easy to communicate since he is a kamba just like me. But to come think of it, as I hear they are never decided on what they really want I would want that, so maybe I will go for Thamby from Tigania.

At least am sure he won’t arrive late for my wedding but I am afraid of his temper that can distill changaa and turn me to minced meat when I mess up.

So yes Onyango must be the one, I mean who cannot fall for his eloquent English that leaves one swimming in his vocabulary? Plus, he knows how to treat a woman right, but can I deal with what I heard of his unloyal nature, he is well known for complaining about anything and everything and the first to demonstrate, so will he demonstrate when I cook rice instead of ugali to flow with his omena. What about when life just happens and he passes I surely don’t want to sleep with a dead man.

So maybe I will trust what I heard from my friend Moraa about Nyakundi. He values his homestead and education so at least am assured my kids will go abroad to the best schools and learn. But wait.. I remember my aunt also told me of his hot temper and how over-protective he is. I doubt if I will have a chance to go for dates with my girlfriends.

So now I finally think Kamau is fit, I mean I heard he is hardworking and who doesn’t want to catwalk into a stable future? But will he ever be at home because all he thinks of is his dairy farm and hardwares in Nyeri? Going to upcountry every weekend with his oversized leather jacket and a god papa on his head?

Or maybe because we are 42 and we all have our strengths and weaknesses maybe I will get married to the 42 tribes, so that I can not be tribalistic like my aunt or any other political leader who encourages us to spit on each other because of tribal differences.

I think there are more important things to consider than our tribes when making major life decisions and I also think our diversity is not about our difference and them bringing us apart but those differences being used to bring us together, but what if my aunty is right? Anyway who am I to judge?